I wish my dad was atticus finch...?

my father is a bum. we live in fairfield county and are living a fake life basically because we are in so much debt. i wish i didnt have to hear about all the financial crap, but my parents fight about it constantly. he used to work in new york city at tiffanys and ralph lauren in executive positions, but now he sells tshirts and webkinz out of our house. it disgusts me. sometimes i feel bad about how much i hate him sometimes, but should i? atticus finch from to kill a mockingbird seems like the perfect strong, determined man that i would want as a father, and i always find myself comparing my dad to him. idk if this has anything to do with it, but i constantly seek approbation from my male teachers at school. i daydream about them alot too. my fathers a failure, and it disgusts me. id ont know how to deal other than ignoring him